Beware the Pictures!
by chocolatexloverx16
Summary: Hughes is supposed to be interrogating/torturing a suspect. Yet he's showing off his family instead. Is there a difference? Will the result of said interrogation/torture make Roy annoyed with Hughes like usual? Answers to these questions, and much more, inside! Rated T for torture, tricycles, and teasing.


_**A/N**: Hello there, this is something that plagued my brain, so I had to let it out. Hopefully you find it amusing somehow :3_

_I don't even remember how I thought of it… but anyway! It's high time I write a Hughes fic! It's not all going to be in his POV either, just an fyi. Hope you like it anyway ^^;_

_**Warnings**: OOCness (probably), randomness, very little swearing, craziness, torture, photos…_

_**Disclaimer**: I don't own D:_

The accused man stared him down. The military had stuck him in this room, with a harmless looking military man for company. They were kidding, right? If they thought _he_ could intimidate a confession out of him, they were wrong.

Or were they?

The major pushed his glasses into a comfortable position, and reached into his pockets. The serious look in his green eyes took the suspect by surprise. _What could he be hiding up his sleeve? Or rather, in his pockets? A weapon? What kind of weapon would fit in pockets?_

The man pulled out pictures. The seriousness in his eyes was still present; however, giddiness was also present, and it scared the suspect a bit.

_Pictures._ There were many pictures of a woman, and a little girl. And the man was talking animatedly about each, as if they were to be worshipped all the time. The light in the major's eyes disgusted the suspect. _How could he be so damn _happy_? It's not natural!_

"Stop, please, I beg you! No more pictures!" The suspect cried out suddenly.

It had been ten minutes.

Maes Hughes looked taken aback. Why did this accused man plead him to stop? He was just getting to the good stuff!

"But who _wouldn't_ want to look at these photos of my lovely Gracia and Elysia? It's a dream come true!" Hughes pulled another one out. "See? This is my darling little Elysia! And look, she's on her first tricycle! She follows me everywhere on it like my own escort of cuteness!"

"Ahhhhhh! Please stop!" The suspect's mind had started to deteriorate.

Hughes grinned cheekily. He'll have to remember to show Roy and Ed that tricycle picture next time he sees them. And all the other ones as well. They'll have time to see them all, right? Of course they will! _Everyone_ has time to look at these beautiful pictures!

The suspect's mind is fuzzy. The only thing penetrating through the fog is this man-and his obsessive collection of photos. What he wouldn't give to get away from this place…

Wait a minute, that's it!

"And here is my stunning Gracia holding our Elysia after she was just born! Isn't she just so gorgeous?" Maes asked, practically hugging the picture to his heart. The suspect spared a moment to wonder if he slept with those pictures every night.

Probably.

"Alright! Fine! You win! You. Win. I'm guilty. It was me," he finally cracked.

Too bad Hughes was too busy to notice the confession. "And here is my daughter Elysia wearing her mommy's hat! Isn't she just the cutest thing ever?"

The (now known) criminal curled up into a ball and cried. He was too cracked to care how unmanly it was. _This must be what hell is like._

"You do realize you could have stopped an hour ago, don't you Hughes?" Roy questioned his friend. When he had checked in on Hughes and the suspect, Hughes was off on cloud nine, and the other man was just a sorry sight to look at.

Hughes sighed. "You just don't understand Roy. How could I stop, when I have so many beautiful pictures to show off? Besides, you'll understand some day, when you get yourself a wife and kids-"

"How many times have I told you Maes… don't even go there." Mustang huffed impatiently while pretending to sign some documents, hoping Hughes would get the hint that he's busy. Too busy to be bothered by the pictures. "Don't you have work to do?"

Maes laughed. "Please, I'm already done. All I had to do was get that guy to confess. But to be honest with you Roy, I just wanted to share my whole collection of pictures; I didn't want to torture the truth out of him."

Roy's eyebrow twitched. "Well, it seems you managed to torture him anyway." _I can't believe his first interrogation went so well. He'll probably be promoted for this… bastard._

"Are you implying that my beloved photographs are torture?" Maes asked, an unreadable expression on his face. His glasses also happened to flash ominously at this point.

Roy stared at his best friend for a moment, then rubbed his temples. "You are impossible, you know that?"

"Well, so are you. You're supposed to be doing your paperwork, but I know you're only pretending. You should be getting it done as quickly as possible!"

"… Why?"

"Because then you'll have time to see my newest collection!" There was no mistaking the excitement in his voice; Hughes really loved sharing those pictures. No matter who was on the receiving end of them.

_Wait a minute…_ Roy smirked. He just had the most genius idea, and he just knew it would work too. "I'll be right back Maes, don't go anywhere."

Hughes grinned widely, looking up from his photo collage. "I won't!"

Mustang had decided it was high time that he help his staff out with their own paperwork. He went around to each subordinate: Havoc, Breda, Falman, Fuery, and Hawkeye, collecting paperwork as he made his way around.

Returning back to his office, he threw the paperwork down on his desk. "I've decided that I'll be nice and let them all have some free time."

"But you're going to miss out on all these lovely pictures!" Hughes protested. "And you never offer to do your staff's paperwork, Roy. This isn't like you at all."

"What? You mean to say that I won't get to see those photos now? What a shame!" Roy exclaimed, as though that wasn't his plan all along. "But you know what… my staff is feeling deprived of your stellar pictures, why don't you let them catch up?"

"Good idea, Roy! Everyone needs to see the beauty and grace that is Gracia and Elysia!" Hughes scooped up all his photos and headed out of Roy's office and into the room the five poor souls were residing in.

Roy smiled at the paperwork, thanking it for finally being useful. Then he decided to actually fill out some of the paperwork, since he was in such a giving mood.

In fact, he was consistently working for a few minutes, until Riza barged into his office.

"Sir," Riza cocked her gun in Roy's face. "Give me half the paperwork."

Roy complied, but not without chuckling. "He got to you, didn't he?"

Without lifting her gaze from the forms, she replied, "I had to get away, before someone was shot."

They worked in a companionable silence; the muffled voice of Hughes and the muffled screams of Roy's remaining staff were heard in the background.

It was the fastest three hours Roy, and Hughes, had ever experienced. It was also the slowest three hours of Havoc's, Breda's, Fuery's, and Falman's lives.

One thing's for certain though:

Roy's staff was going to demand a huge raise.

_**A/N**: This has got to be the fastest I've ever finished a fic. Maybe it's because of how awesome Hughes is *nods* He is very awesome._

_If only the ending came out… better. I couldn't seem to stop XD_

_Any thoughts you have would be appreciated :D _

_Peace and love!_

_chocolatexloverx16_


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